Sex expert and psychologist Dr Pam Spurr dishes out tips for turning on lady love
.Arouse her skin sensitivity
• If you want her to feel fabulous around you – and be up for anything – then arouse her skin sensitivity. This will boost the production of the hormone oxytocin that is the bonding hormone. And unless you're both in the mood for a "quickie", a slow seduction is far more pleasurable to a woman.
Find her "lust lines" to boost her skin sensitivity. Ancient oriental beliefs state that women (and men, too) have a lust line running from the earlobe down the side of the neck. This is why when you gently stroke her earlobe and then plant little kisses on the back of her neck she gets tingles right down to her clitoris.
There's also one that runs through the ring finger of the left hand. So while your kissing her take that finger and gently stroke it with your fingers. Then move your fingers into the palm of her hand and gently circle her palm. Done while you're kissing her, she won't know what's hit her, but her skin will now be aroused and become sensitive to any other touch.
• Show her your sensitive side
• A woman will feel more connected to a man – and more ready for a fantastic sex session – if she sees he has a sensitive side as well as a hot and passionate one. A wonderful way to show her this is to offer to spoil her with a slow and sensual shampoo. This will take her by surprise, too, if she knows a seduction is in store but she doesn't expect foreplay to begin with something so original! Or if you've been in a relationship for awhile it's a fabulous way to re-bond with her sensually.
Make her comfortable in a chair padded out with cushions and towels around her neck area so she can lean back with her hair over the sink. Gently stroke and caress her hair with a lush smelling shampoo. Or have her sit in a warm, sudsy bath as you do it there. Take your time and then gently comb through her wet hair. She'll feel so spoiled she'll want to roll into some clean sheets with you for an amazing romp.
• Show some gentlemanly consideration
• She may find you really attractive. She may even be dying to sleep with you. But don't forget if it's your first time together, she may be a little bit nervous. Take your time, turn the lights down, and keep checking that she's feeling happy about everything. When it comes to undressing, take charge in a masculine way, and help her undress but don't just stare at her as you unbutton her top and reveal her breasts, etc., just in case she's feeling shy. She wants to feel appreciated but not stared at.
• Yummy honey
• Honey is not only good for you it's sweet-tasting, too. Ask her to lie back as you dip your finger into some runny honey and smooth it over her pussy lips. Kiss her lips gently as you suck a little of the honey off but then roll over on to your back. Ask her to kneel above you and let the last few drips of honey drop into your lips as you gently flick her lips!
• Get clever with her clitoris
• Most men assume stimulation of her clitoris – or at least fairly near it – is the way to get her completely turned on. But that's not the case! The way to get her really excited during foreplay is to place your fingertips about an inch above her clitoris on her pubic mound.
Simply use your index and middle fingers placed lightly. Push gently into this fleshy mound with the pads of your fingertips. Now make small, circular motions on this area keeping your fingertips in contact with her mound.
As you're kissing her and holding her with your other arm this stimulation will send thrills through her clitoral arms – these are below the surface of her labia and are stimulated by touch to this upper part of her pubic mound. Keep making these gentle circles until she can't take it anymore.
• Make her gasp
• Don't just go in for ordinary thrusting, instead use your penis like a sex toy. Once you've done a few "traditional" in-and-out style thrusts, pause and build her anticipation, then start to gently circle your hips so that your penis circles around inside her vagina skimming ALL of its surfaces. Alternate this with in-and-out thrusting for maximum pleasure.
Dr Pam Spurr's new book "Fabulous Foreplay – The Sex Doctor's Guide To Teasing and Pleasing Your Lover!" is available now from amazon.co.uk
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